This is somewhat different from my other two stamps that talk about actual issues in the world. I’ve just seen too many people throw this word around, and I am truly tired of seeing people pull out the “that’s bullying” card. So, I’ve decided to make this stamp to rant and voice my opinion.
Some Edits: - Pause added. I keep on forgetting that I really should have that pause. - Added a little bit of info.
More Edits: - After pondering for a bit, I may as well clarify a few things that may get some future commentators confused or have confused others.
1) No, I do not support rude, nasty, or harassment at all; whether off or on the internet. I actually find it sad that many people out there utilize the internet as a way to act rude, selfish, and overall nasty because "hay, it's anonymous" and I do not support harassing a user either.
2) I know that a critique does not equal a negative comment (negative comment in this case being such posts along the lines of "this is shitty"). The point of this stamp is addressing a number of users out there (whether on DA or other sites) who get into a tizzy because someone gave them a critique, and then began to get upset over it. Just as how they get upset over meaningless comments like "this is crap" and start to get upset to the point of decrying "cyber bully!" over nothing.
3) This hasn't been an issue for me yet, but I should clarify now that I know there are cases of people who are harassed on the internet to the point of suicide/harming themselves/etc and I know that it does not help when you go somewhere and every post you receive is just anger-filled and violent, especially when you did absolutely nothing wrong.
To note quickly though; this stamp is technically about no-nothing conflicts brought up via a dumb comment or a critique. Not actual cases of someone with an account, minding their own business and then suddenly being harassed without reason.
However, I will address one thing here. When it comes to cases of, for example: A user who has done nothing wrong is now being harassed by another user they do not know; for me, it is hard to look at every single incidence of harassment and agree that it's "cyber bullying" when, at the same time, said user could simply remove themselves from the internet and get a way from such things. When I was bullied in Elementary School, I could not go to my parents and ask "can we move/transfer me to another school" because that is both costly and difficult. If I had a load of users harassing me on my account; I can block them, ignore them, make a new account, or just stop going onto the internet if it is such an issue.
At the same time, if someone is too "delicate" for the internet than maybe they should not go on it or, at the least, not make an account/enter arguments/debates/etc because the more you put yourself out there on the internet, the more likely you are to come upon some person who, out of their spare time, will irritate you (this can be true of reality as well; the more you're known, the more likely it is that someone out there who has heard of you may hate you). Either they will need to pull back from the internet if they're too sensitive, or simply grow a thicker skin because the world cannot cater to someone whose "sensitive" and "emotional".
However, and I will clarify it again, I do not support aimlessly harassing another for no reason (or for very pointless reasons). I do sympathize with people who are harassed on their accounts (keep in mind, those who have done nothing and are being bothered; I hold no sympathy for the users who brought it upon themselves) and cannot get it to stop. It is irritating and yes, I do understand that it must be emotionally exhausting to log in and see messages like "fuck you die" or "you suck" in your message box over, and over, and over.
I just think people need to look more into cases of harassment over the internet before they start to throw around the word "cyber bully", because to me these things seem easier to avoid than it is to avoid bullying off the internet.
- - -
It can drive me up the wall at times when users, specifically overly emotional ones, throw around the term “cyber bullying” or just “bullying” when being insulted/bothered/annoyed by someone over the internet.
From what I was taught, the definition of "cyber bullying" goes along the lines of this:
""Let’s say there are two girls; Suzy and Jenny. Jenny has come to hate Suzy because, apparently, she heard Suzy has a small crush on Jenny’s boyfriend and has this absurd idea that Suzy may try to steal him from her. So, she decides to go onto the internet and make a hate account for Suzy of Facebook and uses it to make up lies about her being a "slut", "stealing boyfriends" and allowing others to post their own hateful comments. Then, to spread it around, she links it to her friends, who link it to their friends and over time send it around the school (and possibly then some). After let’s say a month, everyone starts to think that Suzy is a "slut" who will steal any guy from any girl, and start to treat her cruelly at school. And not only that, let’s say Jenny also linked Suzy’s email and Facebook account to everyone along with the hate account, thus allowing people from her very school to send hateful emails to her and harass her at home, giving Suzy little to no break from being bullied.""
Through using the internet and technology, Jenny has been able to not only ruin Suzy’s reputation at school through a method by which is quick and allows her the ability to be "anonymous", but has also salted the wound, metaphorically speaking, by making it so that even at home people can send hateful and cruel emails to her.
However, when I see people use the world "Cyber bully" it tends to be used in this context:
""Emotionaluser22 and Meaniecommentator3 are two users who do not know each other. Meaniecommentator3 comes upon Emotionaluser22’s account, sees their art and finds it of low quality. Thus, they comment on some of the pieces about how they "suck pieces of donkey shit" (in Meaniecommentator3's own words). Emotionaluser22, getting upset sends replies like "Ur a meanie, stop bulling me!!1!” while Meaniecommentator3 laughs it off and bugs Emotionaluser22 some more thanks to how Emotionaluser22 reacts to all of Meaniecommentator3's comments.""
To clarify some things; Emotionaluser22 lives in B.C., Canada and Meaniecommentator3 lives in Newfoundland, Canada. They have never met before nor will meet, and both have average lives outside of their "internet lives".
To me, the second scenario is not cyber bullying:
Has this person been truly hurt? Are they going to school being beaten up, gossiped behind their back and otherwise having their social life ruined because of an unknown person’s random comment on their art posted on the internet? Chances are, no, it will not. Someone commenting on an account (perhaps multiple times), leaving rude posts and having no physical interaction with you does not, to me, constitute as cyberbullying because the solution is quite simple. Ignore the user, block them, or get away from the internet.
And if somehow that user has allowed their internet conflict to impact their daily life to the point of actual bullying at school/work/etc, I have to say it comes down to being their fault for allowing it to happen. There is no possible way people at school would know about the internet drama, less they either 1) make a deal about it to the point of obtaining negative attention at school or 2) allowed themselves to be easy found on the internet to the point where they may as well be advertising themselves. In both cases, these can be avoided with sensible behavior and decisions.
And for those of you who try to defend these people by saying “Oh, but [insert user] is really sensitive, has a hard life and shouldn’t deal with this”, how should anyone be able to figure this out upon first looking at them? This is not forgetting, of course, that if they really are that sensitive, that easily emotional at the littlest of mean comments, then why are they on a site where anyone can type anything, even comments that might offend them? If they really get emotional over comments, they should not be here (or take better precautions to staying unknown). And if they really want to be here, they should get a backbone then, especially if they also want attention/fans/etc.
Plus, if said emotional user did something such as freaking out at a minor critique or petty comment; than they kind of deserve whatever problems comes their way. Why should they be treated any differently from someone else; because they’re a little more “sensitive” and have a “hard life”? Everyone at some point has hard a hard life, their problems do not make them transcend equal treatment. There are a lot worse things out there than a random person commenting on why your art “sux” or hell, even just critiquing your art. If you truly, really don’t want to deal with a critique; a simple answer is to ignore it. It’s not as if someone is holding a gun to your head, demanding you get better. And if they continue, or bug you, just say you draw for fun and is really not up for it; but thanks anyways. That. Simple.
Oh, but that’s not what they want. They want nothing but positive, 100% you are a perfect artist comments. Because god forbid they deal with reality and understand that they need to deal with good and bad things, or let alone try to get better at their art. Because someone suggesting “hay, draw the head smaller or make the neck thicker” apparently translates to “blah blah blah you’re a shitty artist blah blah blah I’m an asshole blah blah blah apparently I’m bullying you”.
Long rant short; stop throwing the word “Cyber Bullying” or just plain “Bullying” around for petty reasons like “AH!! This person critiqued/left a negative comment/talked badly/made parody art about my work! BAWWWW! DAT’S CYBER BULLING!!11!”. Internet drama is practically a paper cut compared to some of the conflicts out there outside of the internet. Especially in real cases of bullying and cyber bullying.
And if you really, really, really don’t want any critique/negative comments on your art;
Critique shouldn't be consider "cyber-bullying" I think.. But "critique" has been abused these days..
Rather than finding flaws that lacks purpose, I see some people attack the purpose/styles just because some people hate it - Bias. Forcing "sucks" whether a work has many real flaws or not isn't something good either, nor is "forced critique" I think. But a honest, real, legit (Non bias) critique probably shouldn't exactly be consider cyber bullying.
Also, "BAW" is getting really annoying and doesn't seem to serve any argument, but alas I probably know where that term came from..
Huzzah, someone who knows the difference between 'bullying' and criticism! Seriously... It gets on my nerves when people say you're bullying them because you happen to have expressed a negative view on something.
bright-and-happyFeatured By OwnerAug 8, 2013Hobbyist Artist
I hate when I say one little thing and then the person gets angry at me and I'm just like "FUCK THIS." I almost flipped my laptop once I was so pissed off. People just always need to the the victim just for attention.
Also, harrassment isn't saved just for real life situations. Even if your "personal real life" isn't affected, you're still emotionally affected by what people say and do online. Just because it's online doesn't mean it's any less hurtful to some people. Growing a backbone shouldn't be a tip for these people. Some people have it MUCH harder trying to ignore things like that, like myself for example. You can't just expect someone with troubles in 'getting over shit' to actually do so easily.
First of all, yes I do agree multiple comments to a user degrading them for no real reason other than shits 'n giggles is wrong and can be frustrating, and yes that is harassment.
But this stamp is not talking about what is harassment and what isn't. If you read my author's comments, you'd see that I used the word "harassment" often and agreed that multiple users posting to you for no good reason other than to upset you is harassment. It's "CYBER BULLYING" I'm talking about here, addressing people who use that word to define a bunch of people you don't know harassing you. Is it right that they harass you? No, of course not! Does it hurt? Of course, it's not fun to be told you suck. Is it Cyber Bullying, not in my books. Not with what I've seen before.
Some user you don't know calling you "shit-head" constantly; it's stupid, annoying, frustrating, and certainly harassment; but not bullying if you can ignore, block, and do a number of things that can help you easily avoid the user.
Someone takes a photo of you, photoshop it onto a cow, and then send it to other friends at school via email to be passed around so everyone look at you and calls you "fat cow", that is a bully using the internet to hurt others.
And yes, if you are someone who find it "MUCH harder trying to ignore things like that", then you learn to ignore it. Do you really think these people will stop if you continue to reply and refuse to ignore it? These are people who adore seeing the reactions to their nasty comments, it's why they're called "Trolls". Listen, I get that it can be tough and that it hurts to get cruel, unnecessary comments often. But the internet can be real nasty and because we have so much Anonymity there will always be people who will use the internet for no good reason, other than to be cruel because they know there is no real life consequences.
In the end, I'm not saying that you can't feel upset, it's fine if you feel down when someone pointlessly bugs you, heck I get peeved if someone goes about to call me stupid, or a liar, etc. But letting yourself become easily goaded on, especially with petty comments, and then let comments like "u sux" hurt you, well then your time on the internet won't be a fun one at times.
Oh, I know that. I've been trying to ignore this stuff for about two years now. There's hate blogs on Tumblr about me, there's many people who make fun of my art and my characters on DeviantArt, etc. And plenty of art thieves and stuff. But yeah. I'm a lot better now than I used to be about dealing with it (or in this case NOT dealing with it and trying hard to ignore it), but deep down it still hurts when I come across a nasty comment or a tumblr post and it's really aggrivating still when I see people using my art and characters on sites like that pathetic hellhole, Worlize.
You're right though. I do need to try harder--which I've been doing--not to let them get to me so much. Again, I'm much better now than I was when it first started (Tumblr hate comments, a Livestream invasion of about 30+ trolls bitching me out and stuff, etc.). I was depressed, crying every night, and even contemplated suicide for a day or two. I knew how pathetic and silly that was, but the idea of it was still in the back of my mind. I was scared, hurt, and completely new to this kind of thing. I've been bullied "in real life" many times before, so you'd think I'd be used to or at least expectant of it online, but I guess not back then. XD
It can suck. Especially since people always treat the internet like a free for all.
"Oh I don't have to act like a civilized person, it's the internet!"
Apparently when the concept of the internet was first launched, my dad said people acted in a polite manner, since you could see their name, etc, etc. But now, sadly, not as much >^<
It's a shame that people, instead of just saying how to fix something if they really think there's a problem, decide to resolve it by acting like children. But again, these are likely people of the mindset "Well it's the internet! I don't need to be polite!" and feel that somehow because we can't find them, they can act as they please.
Though ugh, nothing is worse than having someone bash your character/art without offering a critique first. By my book; you give the person a chance, then you settle to get tough with them if they act out.
I wish you luck with these people. It can be really tough when all someone wants to do is repeatedly put you down, especially when there are hate blogs (which oh man, that's awful). Though good thing you're staying strong. Over time, if you hold out and don't go nuts they should eventually die away. At least hopefully.
Negative comments and actual critiques, no. But when it's basically "lol ur art sux u dumbass", and repeated comments that degrade and purposely try and tear someone down, that's when it's harrassment in my view.
This girl right here---> :iconbeefbunsplz: calls herself a critique(I know this because according to her friend who spoke to me she enjoys criticism) and harassed me for about 3 days using a second account while using her first account, by the way. Why she did this? I don't know. She came on my profile one day and began bothering me. She tried giving me advice, but I told her politely, no thank you, and guess what happened? She began harassing me, just because I wouldn't take her advice.
And you know what? I'm glad I didn't take her advice because if you go to her gallery and look at her, her art looks like a kindergarten drew it. So I'm like, why should I take advice from a cyber bully, amateur, ignorant, dumb artist? Looking at my art and back at hers I think I'm the better artist. And looking at the words of this stamp is partially invalid to me because of this girl :iconbeefbunsplz: and a few others, by the way, who call themselves critiques, as well, but mostly her, I find critiques are cyber bullies. I can't believe you made this.
Jack, did you even read anything I said? Because seriously, this is not cyberbullying.
Has this user ruined your real life, are you able to still go to school without people bringing up this stupid user or making fun of you based around what this user did? If you can, then guess what? You have not been cyber bullied.
There are people out there who have had their real life ruined because some kid at school took a photo of them and photoshopped it to make them look like they were stripping, or having sex, or are fat, and then spread it around making sure everyone sees it. These people have utilized the internet to ruin someone’s real life and has made it such that there is no escape. Whether at school, at work, on the internet, they are being harassed. But that is the key thing here, their real life is ruined.
At the end of the day, Jack, this user will never meet you. You will never hear from this loser again (unless you haven’t blocked them which you should have) and in the end when you turn off your computer there is really no consequence to all that happened. That isn’t cyber bullying to me, that’s just some loser who thinks they can say what they want because you cannot catch them in real life. And you just said it yourself; you can just ignore this shmuck and discredit what they say.
Can you do that if someone created a hate group for you, with photos of you and everything, and then passed it around at work/school to let people complain about you? Likely not, because you have to deal with reality and you cannot escape that.
Okay, I'm sorry for being inconsiderate and you're right photoshopping is worser than my problem. And if there was a group dedicated to hating on me I wouldn't know what to do...But, anyways once again I'm sorry. It's just I ran into so many mean critiques I had considered them to be quite bothersome. I'll admit I ran into some good critiques, who also return to bug me, but I feel as if they should understand that if I didn't ask for their help they should respect that and say nothing at all. Either way, I think they should stop hating on my art style.
Yeah, it can be annoying and it's a pity that people think they can act how they like over the internet. Just because we cannot actually see them physically, does not mean they should harass others over the internet.
That's the problem. There are lots of users out there who look to negative comments, whether it is useful to helping ones artistic skills or just bluntly stating that "the art is bad", and then crying out “Bully” even though the person hasn’t done much save for left a comment.
But critiques do not equal being rude. If someone is being rude, they are hurting someone and that can be considered bullying. There's no need for being 'blunt' as you say, not unless you know the person and know they are better than what they are posting (as of late, say, then what they have posted before a certain time) or are willing to be constructive and give ways to improve or actually describe what is wrong. I'm sorry, but I disagree with you partly. You may think something's bad, but that's not a reason to let go of manners.
I’m not saying “let go of manners”, "be blunt", nor am I supporting rude behavior. I’m simply stating that, whether it is a critique or a silly little comment, people are treating them like they are “being bullied”, and I cannot equate some person you have not met leaving a “mean” comment on your art to that of a person, in real life, being bullied whether physically and/or emotionally.
Is it right to be nasty over the web? No, I think some people out there abuse the anonymity of the internet to act out and be, overall “jerks”. That’s why we have “trolls”, though it’s hard to tell anymore who is a “troll”. Because, sadly, lots of people treat any little comment now that isn’t positive as “a troll”. That’s what I mean when I made this stamp.
People are starting to treat anything that isn’t positive and complimentary as “cyber bullying” or “bullying” and I cannot call that bullying. I just can’t see how one can compare, for example; a girl at a school who is ostracized, taunted, and possibly physically hurt by students at her school, to that of a user receiving a few mean comments from people they have never met and likely never will. Again, one can easily walk away from the internet, or at the most away from their accounts. I can easily stop using my DA accounts. However, you cannot escape your life. You can’t say “I want to transfer to a new school” because it isn’t that simple.
And think of it this way; if a user came to my page and said “You’re fat and ugly” despite there being no photo of me, should I take that seriously? No, they have not seen me or know me, and I should not take something from a person I don’t know seriously, especially when they have no idea of who I am. And really, can you ever truly know someone over the web who you haven’t met physically before? Possibly, but even then there are lots of examples out there of people who “though they knew someone” only to learn that this person is not who they are.
What I’m trying to say is that people are starting to abuse the term “cyber bullying”. It’s not just comments as “fuck you, you suck balls” to people who don’t deserve it. There are people who have sparked huge fights over the web, and then quickly cry out “cyber bullying” despite the fact that all of their problems came about from their behavior, usually childish and immature behavior as well as the inability to admit they made mistakes. I’m not advocating bad behavior, but the internet can be both an amazing place and a very cruel place and if people are willing to take every not-so positive comment as “bullying” then they is not the place for them.
But again, if you disagree then we can simply agree to disagree.
First off, all thank you for being mature! I was afraid that I would get rammed up the butt because of my voicing my disagreements. Sadly, who knows, that may still happen.
As someone who is thin skinned, or very sensitive, I know that it's easy to be confused and/or get very hurt by insensitive comments. Also, I've been victim to starting my own drama, and that's a lovely experience </sarcasm >.
I have to agree with you though - some issues are worse than others. Also, it's probable to reality that some people are crying wolf when it's not the case. It's definitely easier to ban someone from a group or a forum then in real life where there is sometimes no escape.
Again, I know very well about offline bullying and drama. I've been victim to both, against also sometimes starting my own drama. I suffered horrifically in school. I'm so glad that I'm out of it, though sadly it didn't stop the pain or the incidents (though greatly decreased them!)
People need to grow up. That's what it comes down to. All sides. I'll admit, I believe I (and others) could be stronger, but I strongly believe there are people who need to be kinder.
Don't worry~ You didn't come here acting childish or spoke in a rude manner, so I have no reason whatsoever to act that way in return. Besides, it is was a legitimate argument and I do agree that it would be nice if people were polite over the internet. Again, sadly I think some people out there use the ability to stay anonymous as a way to act out, since it isn't easy to keep friends by sparking fights all the time.
I try not to go in blaring and blazing, even when I feel very passionately about a subject. It's easier to do when one is relying on writing (or typing), at least for me. If we were talking, we'd possibly be at odds. I agree with you, some people take the anonymity of the internet to no-good extremes.
AeriliaFeatured By OwnerApr 6, 2012Hobbyist Photographer
If a comment/critique is negative but in a constructive way, I thank the person for their honestly, but if they are going to behave like youtube commenters and say "ur a fat ugly ginger bitch u shud die" instead of criticizing my work then I will flag that as spam and report it. if you don't like criticism, go back to live journal and myspace you drama whores.
I know. Hell even if the person is just going to bitch and moan about art/written work/etc I just ignore them or flag/hide/mark as spam/etc. Making a huge mess out of it and causing such a ruckus over nothing solves nothing and they should be grateful people are trying to help them with their art.
It's especially worse when the person sets up the "Critique my art" section of their deviation, and then when someone is willing to give an actual critique they whine/moan/say "This is unfair" as if they expected nothing but ass kissing. If they didn't want a critique, don't ask for it and better yet; don't post it.
AeriliaFeatured By OwnerApr 6, 2012Hobbyist Photographer
I remember a girl asking for a critique on a webcam photo of herself staring vacantly at the camera, leaning on her hand and trying to appear "deep". I said "this is not MySpace" and she and her friends kept spamming me with abuse. I had to quit my old account because of her.
AeriliaFeatured By OwnerApr 6, 2012Hobbyist Photographer
I also get sick of the people who seek out screenshots then proceed to shit bricks in the comments and threaten to get you banned. They are like "I'm going to get a person banned and their ENTIRE gallery who has not done anything to annoy me or hurt me." you look at their gallery and there's little or no deviations or none that are any good. they think they are admins and moderators but they don't even have premium accounts let alone paid positions on this site. they're just bored low-lives jealous of people whose work is better than theirs.